Beautiful Heartbreak!

I will never forget December 20th 2013! I worked late that day trying to get all our business pushed through before the holidays. My drive home made a 12 hour work day even longer. The roads were covered in snow and I could hardly see where to drive due to the blizzard. My heart was heavy, feeling guilty from being away from my kids all day. As a single mom, I knew my little ones were fending for themselves at home. Thankful for Bluetooth technology, I answered the phone. It was Olivia and she asked if I was excited for Christmas. We talked for a few minutes and as I was about to hang up the phone she said, “Mom, can I tell you what happened to me at school today?” Olivia proceeded to tell me that she had started sitting with a new group of 12 girls at lunch. We moved to Kuna six months prior and Olivia was struggling to find friends. I had encouraged her to find someone to sit with at lunch. Thus, my first initial reaction was feeling excited that she found some girls to sit with. To my horror she relayed what happened next. “Mom, five of the girls brought Christmas presents to share with everyone. None of them gave me one. I sat there feeling stupid and embarrassed. One girl told me that she forgot mine at home but the rest didn’t say one word to me. It’s not about the gift mom….I just feel so forgotten!” My heart broke upon hearing this and although I tried to stay strong, I couldn’t help but cry with her. I searched my heart, mind, and soul….trying to find comforting words. I felt inspired to tell Olivia that great things are happening in her life but she just can’t see it right now. I told her life is like being an actor on a stage. You live life and try to do your best to remember your lines and to play your part well. However, behind the curtain, God and his angels are working hard to create beautiful experiences. I told Olivia to stay strong and keep her faith. I took a deep breath and asked Olivia to listen carefully to my next words. “Olivia, Jesus Christ knows how you feel! Turn to your Savior and pour your heart out to him. He can understand you even better than I can. He can comfort you better than I can. You are loved and one day you will see what others see in you. I PROMISE you that things will get better. God can turn our trials into a beautiful heartbreak but it’s essential to have hope.”

As our discussion ended I pulled in our driveway. I ran into the house and gathered Olivia into my arms. We cried together and she finally wore herself out, eventually falling asleep with her tear stained cheeks still damp. That night I poured my aching heart out in prayer. I asked my Heavenly Father to please fulfill the promise I had felt impressed to give her. I begged that her heartbreak would somehow become beautiful.

One night, a few weeks later, I checked my Face Book messages and saw that Liz Amar had reached out to me. She explained that she was helping to co-direct a scholarship based pageant. One of the contestants had paid her fees and dropped out. Liz asked that Olivia fill in for her and run for the Miss Idaho state title. My first reaction was to kindly decline. I didn’t know how I could even afford the dresses she would need. Time was short and I knew it would be a challenge to find clothing that would fit Olivia. However, a very strong feeling came to me that she should accept the invitation. I talked to Olivia the next day and she excitedly accepted.

For the next few days, I stopped at stores on my way home from work. I was hunting for dresses that were fitting for her age but also modest. Olivia is barely over 4 feet tall so her tiny frame fits into size 8-10 in the children’s section. How do you find a dress that is modest, fancy, not too little girlish? Well, Liz helped with a dress and I found 3 others on clearance. My mother is an amazing seamstress but I hesitated to ask her for help. She lives in McCall, 2 ½ hours from our home. However, I was desperate and explained the situation to her. My parents drove down to spend the next weekend with us. We spent several hours at the fabric store stewing over solutions. In the end, Mom saved the day by lovingly spending several hours at her sewing machine. The dresses turned out beautifully and as Olivia says, “Modest is Hottest!” Olivia stayed busy researching the “anti bullying” topic in order to address her opinion on the CARES program. (Creating A Respectful Environment in Schools). She understood that 40% of her score was going to be based on her interview with a panel of judges. Something exciting started to happen. The more we reflected, discussed, and studied about the bullying topic, Olivia started to become very passionate about it. She too had been bullied on several occasions. Since kindergarten, Olivia had been made fun of for being petite. Mean kids would make gestures behind teacher’s backs and call her names. Olivia is too sweet to fight back so she just took it. Studying about bullying provided us both the opportunity to learn how many children are bullied. Learning she wasn’t alone, provided some healing for our family. Olivia decided to do a survey at her own school. She found that 45 out of 55 kids, felt they had been bullied more than 10 times. Nearly all the kids felt they didn’t know how to respond to bullying in a healthy way. This was alarming because, based on national statistics; we had learned that children are more likely to commit suicide if they’ve been bullied more than 9 times. A fire was lit under us and Olivia said, “Mom, I can help other kids because I know how they feel! I can do this!” The interview night with judges came quickly and I wasn’t allowed to be in the room during the questioning. Five judges made up the panel and they asked each girl several questions. When Olivia was done, Liz asked her what her favorite question was. Olivia said she didn’t know so I was a bit worried that she might have frozen up during the interview. Livy is on the shy side but she’s been known to surprise us at times. The night after Olivia’s interview with the judges, she found herself on stage, competing for the state title. Having only two weeks to prepare, I prayed inwardly that Olivia would be able to do her best. Until I found myself sitting in the audience, I don’t think the thought occurred to me just how devastating it would be if Olivia lost. I already knew how special Olivia is but I also realized what a boost of opportunities this would provide my little girl. I felt proud of her for doing something so very hard! Livy has great courage and I extremely admire her for that! Then again, I don’t like the word “lost/lose” because I think all the girls are winners for working hard and trying their best. Just to clarify, the state title competition was not a swim suit/talent oriented pageant. It was a scholastic based competition in which the winners will fly to Florida this July to compete in the national competition for a $10,000 scholarship award. Although pretty dresses are involved, the judges were looking for someone who could confidently represent our state. The winner would also have the opportunity to speak with children across the state about the CARES program. Public appearances would also be required. This competition was the chance of a life time for all the participants. The evening was eventful with watching all the contestants in their beautiful dresses. The hosts were hilarious and the music was perfect. The on stage question was appropriate and all the girls shined! Olivia modeled a few dresses and she did a fantastic job!

Finally, the time came to announce the winners. I had a knot in my stomach and my dad found it funny to take pictures of me sweating it out while my nerves performed their own number on me! I prayed inwardly….hoping, just hoping, this would be Olivia’s break!! In my mind, I had determined who I thought the last two runners up would be. When they announced the second runner up, (the one I had predicted) I felt strongly that Olivia would win. I then took notice of a sweet moment. When second runner up was congratulated, Olivia energetically clapped and offered a huge smile that if interpreted, I imagined would say, “Congratulations!” You can tell by her facial expressions that she was genuine and kind, just like the heart of a champion! If at all anything, THAT small moment made me a proud mama!

My heart leaped with pure excitement when the next announcement declared that “Olivia Strickland” was the next Miss Idaho Junior High. She instantly covered her mouth in shock then burst into tears!

I must have been a screaming annoyance but I couldn’t contain myself! Amongst the audience of applause, I yelled, “We love you Livy!” My parents sat by side and they were equally ecstatic! My mom clapped her hands and laughed over and over. I think my dad was “hooting and hollering” his verbal praises even louder than I was. It was a moment that we would all remember forever! Abigail and her dad also cheered and clapped in excitement. Our emotions were filled with the pure thrill of joy, pride, and relief! Truly, God had answers prayers of concerned mothers. He knows his children individually and is aware of their needs. After the awards ceremonies, Olivia enjoyed getting pictures with all of the contestants ranging from elementary to the college levels.

During the past few months, Olivia has decided to grasp her platform topic and share it with anyone who will listen. She worked several hours putting together a power point presentation that is appropriate for small children and one that is specifically geared towards older kids/teen/adults. She broke down the topic into 3 main areas and focuses on educating the public and aiming to inspire others to make a change. The three area of focus are as follows: 1. Don’t Be a Bully 2. Don’t Be a Bystander 3. Be Helpful, Not Hurtful Olivia leads her class/group meetings by discussing the most common types of bullying in today’s society. (mental, physical, emotional, verbal, cyber) She then focuses on teaching about bullying. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYVvE4tr2BI Olivia has spoken to over a dozen elementary classes so far. She is soon going to speak to her classmates in her own school in Kuna. (We are just working to secure the date) One of the judges from the state competition, Briana Carr, approached us and requested to do a story on Olivia. It looks like Channel 7 News may be able to take some footage while she presents at her school. Daniel Durrant, captain of the football team at Kuna High School, has agreed to join Olivia and speak out against bullying. We are also working with Miss Collegete, Olivia Corona, to arrange for some BSU football players to join her. In the meantime, Olivia is scheduled to speak with a Relief Society organization, speak at a health fair, and to girl scouts. She has recently met with the Mayor of Kuna, Greg Nelson, and also addressed the city council. One of the Kuna reporters, Lisa Pecchenino, recently posted her story which ended up on the front page of Kuna/Melba News.http://www.kunamelba.com/2014/04/why-education-is-important-to-me-is-mission-of-miss-junior-high-idaho/ Last week, our friend, Marci Durrant, was at a meeting held to plan city events in Kuna. Mayor Greg Nelson asked if anyone knew Olivia. He wanted to know if she would be willing to give the prayer at an upcoming event. Marci raised her hand and volunteered to reach out to her. Olivia is going to Flordia this July and will represent Idaho when she competes for the Miss America Junior High title. Briana Carr from Channel Seven News told me that she feels Olivia has a good chance of winning. Olivia said, “Mom, it will be okay if I don’t win nationals because I already feel honored for winning state. I want to go have fun and meet the other girls while representing Idaho.” At the national competition, the girls are assigned to wear the same dress for one of the onstage appearances. To our disappointment, the dress chosen is very immodest. Olivia has told me she refuses to wear an immodest outfit and I completely support her. I wrote a letter to the national director and she has agreed to let us modify the dress. As Olivia says, “Modest is Hottest!” The dress will be shipped to us and my mom has agreed to once again take on the sewing task. It’s a good thing Olivia is petite so hopefully it runs long on her. We plan to use some of the length to help cover her top half. It will be a challenge but I’ve yet to see a project that my mom hasn’t conquered.

We need to raise a minimum of $5,000 in order for Olivia to attend the national pageant along with dress modifications. We’ve been blessed to have sponsor donations thus far. The funds helped to secure the add page registration which was $500 and to help with some basic costs associated with printing materials. After much consideration, we’ve decided to host an online auction on Face Book. It will be open for a two week period. We are asking businesses to donate a product and/or service that can be bid in the auction. It will be an open bidding so the public can see the bids coming in. You can find the Face Book page by typing in: Olivia Strickland Miss Idaho Junior High. If you would like to donate funds or items to auction, please see the information below: Funds Donation: Paypal Donation at: https://www.paypal.com/ Page title: olivia2strickland@gmail.com Funds Donation: Bank of Cascades under “Miss Idaho Junior High, Olivia Strickland.” Funds Donation: “Go Fund Me” http://funds.gofundme.com/index.php?route=fundmanager# Auction Donations: For further comments/questions, please contact Julia Morgan at: julzz7@msn.com – (208) 353-8977 or Bonnie Law – fancythis.bonnie1996@gmail.com (208) 855-0615. Picture of National Contestants: http://www.americashighschoolpageant.com/the_contestants.php?pgnt_year=2014&pgnt_type=1 A Special thank you to Olivia’s mentor, Julia Melchin.

Written by: Bonnie Law (Olivia's Mom)